Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
