I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
