my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
