can we get nightvision for the apartment?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
