I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
