party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
