I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize