I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
