New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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