Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
