please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
