It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
time to smoke my breakfast
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
