K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
