drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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