i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
