Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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