does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
