He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
