Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
kristin has been a bad kristin
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
