Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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