she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
