I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we should paint friendship bongs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
