I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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