theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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