It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
