He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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