Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Porn is love you can see.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
