Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
