Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
