awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
