I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize