four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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