Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Randomize
