Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
