I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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