you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
