You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
