You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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