I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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