he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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