i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
