Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
