I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
