explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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