If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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