god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
