I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
