I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize