he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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