i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
