I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
