and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
