so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
