He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
