The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
