Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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