I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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