I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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