You made me cry and you don't even care
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every concussion has its silver lining
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
