he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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