I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
