it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
